Please read carefully before entering the premises.

Image by Ahmadreza on pixabay

No talking

No food or drink to be brought into the library

Please read carefully before bothering one of your new overlords.

Photo by Mikita Yo on Unsplash

Saturday will be a good day for Fort William.

Image from Wiki Commons
  • When it’s time for the teams to come out onto the pitch, cheer as loudly as possible. Coaxing the lads out of the changing room won’t be easy, but with enough encouragement, there’s a good chance we’ll be able to persuade the majority.
  • If we get an early shot…


We have built your dream bookshop.



What’s the worst thing someone has said to you?

Photo by Annette Sousa on Unsplash

A guide to the phrases used by manipulative cavemen since the dawn of humans

Image: Graphic Mama on pixabay

If you really loved me you would happily stand in the middle of the swamp in order to lure a woolly mammoth to its doom.

You are more exhausting than spending a month building one of our tribe’s ambiguous monuments.


Three times a week I f*ck up playing Roger Federer in the Wimbledon final.

Young man screaming and pulling at his hair humorously

My closing statement will prove it.

There were a few surprise entries at this year’s event …

First Place: Vectron from the planet Mamoon

Second Place: Zlock from the planet Slosh

Your future happiness could be at stake.

Image credit: Wiki Commons
  • ‘Those who have not seen the director’s cut of Major Dundee have no place at the cultural high table.’
  • ‘Egyptian directors embracing handheld technology are going to…

H. L. Warren

Welsh writer. Humor, hopefully.

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